Over the past couple of blog posts, I have been discussing limiting and inflexible beliefs. We also tend to limit ourselves with beliefs and thoughts that consist of the word, “BUT.”
“I want to go to the party, BUT I’m too anxious.”
“I would like to learn how to play guitar, BUT I’ve never played a musical instrument before.”
“I want to trust again, BUT I was betrayed in the past.”
In case you are not familiar with the mechanics of the word, “but,” it essentially serves to cancel out everything in the sentence that precedes it. This not only happens on a grammatical level, but on a psychological level as well.
In other words, this one little word kills a lot of goals, dreams, and valued-actions before we even give ourselves a chance to prove it wrong.
So if you’re interested in living the life you truly want to live in your heart of hearts, I suggest that you kick your but’s goodbye by replacing your but’s with the word, “AND.”
To demonstrate how this works, here are some examples…
“I want to go to the party, AND I’m anxious.”
“I would like to learn how to play guitar, AND I’ve never played a musical instrument before.”
“I want to trust again, AND I was betrayed in the past.”
The truth of the matter is, you can be anxious AND go to the party AND enjoy yourself at the same time. You can learn to play guitar even though you’ve never played a musical instrument before. You can learn to trust again even though your trust was betrayed in the past.
Kicking away your BUT’s and giving yourself AND’s expands your flexibility and freedom in life. It’s remarkable how just this simple tweak in language can have quite an empowering impact. Give yourself this gift.
I challenge you- don’t let your BUT’s get in the way of your goals and values anymore. Kick your BUT’s goodbye, and give yourself permission to live the life that you want and value.
Until next time,
Have courage and kind wishes!
Tannah E. Chase, Ph.D.
The Anxiety Counseling Clinic, P.L.L.C.